I've coached parents, but this time I was on a Zoom with a young ballplayer working through nerves, letting go of errors, and pressure from an unusual place.
What a great opportunity for that boy to talk to someone like you. Great advice . . . and don't sell yourself short . . . I think that is a message that is going to stick. Obviously, it won't always be at the front of his mind but I bet he builds on it over the years. Really valuable article!
Good stuff!! I wonder what you’d tell a kid who’s in the opposite position. That is, my son. He’s starting on anew team in the fall (next week), first time doing travel. I fully expect him to start on the bench and get subbed into RF and bat last. He’s the new kid on a very good team, so it will be different from his rec team where he batted cleanup and played up the middle, (SS, C, P and a little CF).
I think he’s prepared to be “low man on the totem pole” and to work his way up. But I don’t want him to look at the other kids, who are his teammates, and say, I gotta be better than him, or I hope he messes up, or even resign himself and say “I could never be better than him”.
I guess we are getting to that age where you do have to compete with your teammates for playing time and I’m not really sure how to express that on a positive way.
Thanks for the note and the questions. How old is he?
It's fine for him to want to be better than a teammate. That's normal, and it'll push him to work harder. Rooting for that kid to have a bad day is a different thing, and it's worth saying so directly. If he's just putting in the work, that's healthy competition. If he ever says he could never catch the other kid, that's not something we want our kids to say and it will take some work to get him believing he belongs on that field.
On the team he plays for, is there an A team and a B team? If so, he sounds like the type of kid who can play for both and stand out on the B team while working toward a bigger role with the A team. If that’s not the case, and there’s just an A team, I would be careful with him sitting especially if he’s young. He needs to play. Yes good coaching and good teams/orgs have value, but he needs to play. Not every inning. Not every tournament, but he should be on the field more than he’s in the dugout.
Thanks for the response! He’s 11. Yes, there is an A and a B team, he made the A team. He is a hard worker who is intrinsically motivated (he just literally asked me to pitch to him) and this will be his first time at a high level of competition.
The season hasn’t started yet so I’m not sure what’s going to happen. Just want to be prepared so I can talk to him if he wants. Keeping my mouth shut is also an option!
What a great opportunity for that boy to talk to someone like you. Great advice . . . and don't sell yourself short . . . I think that is a message that is going to stick. Obviously, it won't always be at the front of his mind but I bet he builds on it over the years. Really valuable article!
I appreciate that. Thank you! I felt really good coming out of that Zoom, and I could tell he did too. Pretty great!
Good stuff!! I wonder what you’d tell a kid who’s in the opposite position. That is, my son. He’s starting on anew team in the fall (next week), first time doing travel. I fully expect him to start on the bench and get subbed into RF and bat last. He’s the new kid on a very good team, so it will be different from his rec team where he batted cleanup and played up the middle, (SS, C, P and a little CF).
I think he’s prepared to be “low man on the totem pole” and to work his way up. But I don’t want him to look at the other kids, who are his teammates, and say, I gotta be better than him, or I hope he messes up, or even resign himself and say “I could never be better than him”.
I guess we are getting to that age where you do have to compete with your teammates for playing time and I’m not really sure how to express that on a positive way.
Thanks for the note and the questions. How old is he?
It's fine for him to want to be better than a teammate. That's normal, and it'll push him to work harder. Rooting for that kid to have a bad day is a different thing, and it's worth saying so directly. If he's just putting in the work, that's healthy competition. If he ever says he could never catch the other kid, that's not something we want our kids to say and it will take some work to get him believing he belongs on that field.
On the team he plays for, is there an A team and a B team? If so, he sounds like the type of kid who can play for both and stand out on the B team while working toward a bigger role with the A team. If that’s not the case, and there’s just an A team, I would be careful with him sitting especially if he’s young. He needs to play. Yes good coaching and good teams/orgs have value, but he needs to play. Not every inning. Not every tournament, but he should be on the field more than he’s in the dugout.
Thanks for the response! He’s 11. Yes, there is an A and a B team, he made the A team. He is a hard worker who is intrinsically motivated (he just literally asked me to pitch to him) and this will be his first time at a high level of competition.
The season hasn’t started yet so I’m not sure what’s going to happen. Just want to be prepared so I can talk to him if he wants. Keeping my mouth shut is also an option!
Less is more, as they say.
You sound like a great dad and he sounds like a great kid.
Don’t take any of it too seriously. Enjoy it!
If I can help, lemme know.